Never once in my life that I expected to have experience of months of quarantine day. It's already been 1 month of me in the house, never go out for work nor meet with friends. I'm starting to enjoyed it actually, because it gives me time to do my hobbies (read: reading and watching).
This is a book that I recently found, it's pretty good book with a lot of quotes that I want to kept as momentum. Let's start it.
Source: http://online.fliphtml5.com/httb/ytkr/#p=1 (pdf book)
The Truth About Meeting Someone At The Wrong Time
Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationships. We meet the persons of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn't ready to get serious and another ends because they're getting serious too soon.
"It would be perfect," We moan to our friends, "If only this were five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves." Timing seems to be invariable third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.
Timing is a bitch, yes. But it's only a bitch if we let it be. Here's a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong time.
You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards. The right people don't make you hmm and haw whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn't going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.
When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don't worry about fitting them into your complicated schedules, because they become a part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Your happiness becomes your priority and so long as they are contributing to it, you can work around the rest.
The right people don't stand in the way of the things you once wanted and make you choose them over them. The right people encourage you: To try harder, dream bigger, do better. They bring out the most incredible parts of yourself and make you want to fight harder than ever before. The right people don't impose limits on your time or your dreams or your abilities. They want to tackle those mountains with you, and they don't care how much time it takes. With the right person, you have all of the time in the world.
The truth is, when we pass someone up because the timing is wrong, what we are really saying is that we don't care to spend our time on that person. There will never be a magical time when everything falls into place and fixes all our broken relationships. But there may someday be a person who makes the issue of timing irrelevant.
Because when someone is right for us, we make the time to let them into our lives. And that kind of timing is always right.
Here Is When You Need To Be Alone
You need to be alone when you are not at home with yourself. When spending a night by yourself makes you want to tremble and take cover from the storm that rages on inside your mind, you need to learn to find your own shelter. When you want someone else to come and hold you close just to distract you from yourself, you need to learn to hold your own hand. We can love one another but nobody can save us from ourselves and when we don't understand that in the slightest, we need to be alone the most.
You need to be alone when you can't look at another human being - not from across the subway or the table or the sheets that are bunched up between you - and not imagine what it's going to feel like once it's over. When every new beginning is just another reminder of each painful ending that preceded it, you are not ready to start over. The person you're going to fall in love with deserves all your beginnings and none of your endings and if you're still torn up about the past and it is bleeding straight into the future, it might mean that you need more time to heal. You need to be alone when you cannot arrive anywhere with your whole heart, because love requires every last piece of it.
You need to be alone when you're not ready. When you meet someone who's patient and kind and well meaning and yet some part of you is holding back. You have to know that it is no one else's job to break down the walls that you've built up - that is fortress of your own responsibility. When you are not ready to give someone your whole heart out of fear of what they'll do with it, it is yourself that you must learn how to trust. It's yourself you must come back to, piece by careful piece as you learn that your heart is endless, refillable vessel that does not deplete or fall apart when it is given away. It is yourself that you must learn to be alone with.
What We Forget When We Say The Timing's Wrong
Let's talk about how our timing's off.
You see, we couldn't have planned this out worse.
It would have been infinitely easier to meet you two years earlier or three years later or in a different space or place or country or time zone.
It would have been simpler to meet you in a world where I could wake up nestled tightly in beside you and you could join in each adventure I took on.
It would be marvelous to have all our fates aligned and to see the timing play itself out flawlessly.
But I'm inclined to say we ought to count our blessings.
Because here's the absolute miracle that we cannot allow ourselves to ignore: out of the billion of the years that earth has existed for, you and I ended up alive at the exact same time.
I wasn't born on your 90th birthday. You didn't die an ultimately death at age 3.
I didn't live as a pauper in the year 400 B.C. You will not spring into existence 500 years into the future. Out of all the centuries, eras, time periods and Universes we could have ended up in, we somehow both ended up here.
We ended up in the era with planes and trains and cars and cell phones and Skype calls. We ended up in the age of relentless communication and instantaneous connection. Of all the possible worlds that we could have gotten stuck in, we found ourselves living in a time when it's possible to wake up to a good morning text every day from someone who is clear across the world.
And when you look at it that way, it doesn't seem so bad. When you look at it that way, it doesn't seem unbearable to wait for a couple more months or a few painstaking years or a single stretch of absence that will eventually be bridged. When you look at it from the angle of the bleak improbability that two people like you and I would ever co-exist, the timing doesn't seem so wrong at all.
Because really, who are you and I to demand any more from the Universe? Who are we to mandate that the stars all align in our favor and the fortunes always cater to our fates? When we chisel it down to probability, we've already come out on top here. So it's only fair we put in some work.
Because the truth about the timing being wrong is that it's nothing more than the world's flimsiest reason not to try.
It's the simplest excuse to pack it in. It's a pre-designed reason to bow out. Saying the timing is wrong is saying nothing more than 'You aren't worth any inconvenience.'
And when it comes to you, that is untrue.
When it comes to you, I'd wade through limitless eras and time zones and alternate realities and Universes trying to find you.
I'd wait for decades or ages or centuries or lifetimes. I'd wait through wars and resolutions and tsunamis and ice ages and apocalypses. I'd wait indefinitely. At this time. In this Universe.
And as long as you're alive here and I'm alive too,
the timing is right enough for me.
